Hot, Delicious Product
6 Comments | Latest by: Matt Gray | Add Your Comment! »»
The reheating instructions on my pizza box say to, "remove product from box".
Nobody goes to "Product Hut". No one orders a "Pan Product". Yet, when no one is looking, on the lip of the box, the legalese sneaks in right under our noses. We don't notice because we are too distracted cracking the lid to smell the pizza. The pizza!
Dad: "Honey, don't cook tonight. Why don't we order a product? Does that sound good, kids?"
Kids: "What the hell is dad talking about? Product?"
Mom: "We don't say that word in this house, kids. That goes for you too, dear."
Dad: "I guess I do say 'hell' sometimes..."
Mom: "I meant 'product'. We don't say 'product'."
Why can't they just call it pizza, like the rest of us?
Trackback: http://philsown.org/2005/11/hot-delicious-product/trackback
Comments
Matt Gray
Nov 12, 2005
I remember from working at Epic that they called cd's and tapes "product" as well and it pissed me off! "It's not product," I'd think to myself, "it's music!" But words are words and sometimes one word just doesn't do a thing justice. This is one of those times, obviously.
Pat Harrington
Nov 12, 2005
In the best George Carlin tradition! Let's not let those corporate bastards get away with anything!
Pat Harrington
Nov 12, 2005
Now I'm hungry for pizza...
Your story, Matt, reminds me of the time Arthur tried to explain tea to the Heart of Gold and included an oral history of the East India company. Even the word "pizza" isn't enough. Remember when round table had suits of armor and swords around the place? Now they just have a cartoon dragon, if that.
Matt Gray
Nov 13, 2005
Hilarious, I could barely read your entry because I was holding on to the mouse and the mouse was moving side to side on the mousepad! Rad!
How to Put Your Face Next to Your Comment
Nov 12, 2005
To be fair, first the pizza box top has the 25 reasons America loves their "pizza", and secondly, the same "product" blurb can be found on the box for wings, so it must be a standard blurb.